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Blog Name: Matthew @ RoF's blog

LCCA fashion show
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19 October 2016
For the first time ever I went to a fashion show last night.

Like most lawyers I wouldn't recognise Issey Miyake if he jumped up and kicked me in the crotch. But I had a cracking time. It was for graduates of the London College of Contemporary Arts, part of Global University Systems which acquired the University of Law last year. Hence my rather convoluted route to an invite. It was at a beautiful Wren church in Holborn. I thought I'd be at the back jumping up and down for a peek, but I was placed next to the owner in the middle of the front row by the runway. Bonza.

The graduates showcased their collections with professional models and now have a proper portfolio to show prospective employers. I'm told that last year's crop are working at the likes of Gucci. Similar success is clearly on the cards for many of last night's designers:





Although I don't know how much of a market there is for a cross between Darth Vader and the Leather Man from the Village People:


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Childish headline from this week's ABA Journal
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18 October 2016
Sent in by a chum. I know, it's beyond puerile, but it made me chuckle...


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Exclusive - RPC Senior Associate in disgusting twitter outrage
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12 October 2016
A Senior Associate at RPC has found himself in a spot of bother after a twitter user complained about him posting this:


Further tweets by the potty-mouthed lawyer include:




An outraged tweeter spotted that the author was in fact Nick Pester, a pissed docker who's fallen into a hornets' nest a 10-year-qualified associate at RPC. He tweeted the firm last weekend with the following:


RollOnFriday was alerted to this yesterday. Pester is surely handing over his business cards and Blackberry as I type this.

A spokesman for the firm said that it took the matter extremely seriously and had launched an investigation. Read more on Friday.
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Excellent Trump t-shirt
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10 October 2016
Spotted at the weekend in a restaurant in the West End:


  The next ruler of the free world
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Ince & Co - outrageous claim of the week
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04 October 2016
Thanks to the reader who pointed out this extraordinary assertion on Ince & Co's LinkedIn page:

    Ince & Co - the perception

    Ince & Co - the reality

The UN? Shove it. Medecins Sans Frontieres? Get stuffed. Thousands of major international charities? Blow it out of their collective arse. An 85 partner shipping firm? Now you're talking.

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Outstanding packaging of the week
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03 October 2016
I got a gaudy plastic keyboard as a kid's present from Amazon recently for about 10p. It's brilliant. But not as good as the packaging in which it came.

I don't know where it was made. Probably Pyongyang and I'm unwittingly funding Kim Jong-Un's sweetie habit. But  as the latest in an occasional series on communist toys, feast your eyes on these beauties:


More funtion attune! The Drum That Interest Clap Reaction Promotes The Hand!


5 drums can flap! Tempo and volume have more distinction to tune up!




Ah, he talks and is very gout. In his little puffer jacket and pudding bowl haircut.
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Tennessee Williams at the Southwark Playhouse
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28 September 2016
An entirely nepotistic shout out for my friend Tommy Rowlands who is producing "Confessional", a little-known play by Tennessee Williams.

Set in a rundown British seaside bar, the play showed at the Edinburgh Fringe last year to great critical acclaim - The Stage called it "a mini-masterpiece of theatre". It will now be playing in London at the Southwark Playhouse from 5th to 29th October.


Find out about it here and give it a whirl if this is your bag.

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An appeal for Keith Vaz
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06 September 2016
Poor old Keith Vaz, publicly shamed by the Sunday Mirror. He says that it is "deeply disturbing" that a newspaper could mount such a sting campaign. And indeed it is ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS that a man who chairs a committee looking into decriminalising prostitution and drugs should be revealed as having bareback chemsex fourways with Eastern European hookers.

Vaz has instructed Mark Stephens of Howard Kennedy to try and get him out of this mess. Stephens does not come cheap, all those woolly jumpers don't pay for themselves. Vaz, as a member of the Privy Council, is clearly beyond reproach and has obviously never taken a backhander in his life. So he's presumably having to meet his legal fees out of his less than generous MP's salary.

    Singing poppers, and rubbers, alive alive-oh!

Indeed so hard up is the Member for Leicester East that he appears to have been unable to run to some prophylactics when enjoying the services of said hookers. Come on Keith, rubber up or leave it out, you know that. As a fellow solicitor fallen upon hard times it behoves the profession to help him out. Please send all you can afford to "Rubber Up Vaz", c/o RollOnFriday, Hamilton House, 1 Temple Avenue, London, EC4Y 0HA and help us hit our target of £8 for a pack of 12 "tight pleasure" ESP condoms.

RoF Towers will cover the cost of sending the johnnies to his constituency office.

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It's Remain! City Managing Partners are unanimous
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22 June 2016
Yesterday I conducted an entirely unscientific straw poll of a dozen Managing Partners of some of the country's top firms. I asked them to let me know - an an entirely unattributable basis - what they thought would happen on Thursday and how that would impact on deal flow. I added that for what it's worth, I reckoned Remain by a 5% margin and all of them having to cancel their summer holidays to deal with the influx of deals that would follow.

Every single one of them reckoned on Remain, with a majority ranging from slender to 10%. Comments were as follows:

"Not at all sure that the vote will deliver a boost to the economy/activity levels. The global economic environment has worsened over the last few months. By holding the referendum the UK simply brought forward the overall tail-off in activity for the UK/the European Capital Markets.
My expectation is that now is not the moment to increase the cost and expense base of doing business in London.  Clients are not going to tolerate increased rates to compensate firms for having increased salary costs in London for reasons with no connection to the London/European markets."

"My guess would be Remain by the same margin as the Scottish referendum - I think the death of Jo Cox has had a significant effect . With regard to work I think there is going to be a bit of a lull after that vote for remain while people absorb the news and see how it plays out with activity being patchy until early autumn. Incidentally we have a few deals in the office which have Brexit break clauses in them."

"I agree with you Matthew - definite hockey stick effect with work flow but I think it might be a broader majority to remain - perhaps 10%"

"I hope remain by a small margin because that will leave the possibility of another referendum in a few years time on the table if the Eurocrats don't start listening to the peoples of Europe.

If it is remain, then I think there will be a small bounce in our sector but more or less getting us back to business as usual pre the referendum slow down (there will be a bigger bounce in the financial markets).

If it is leave, an optimist would say that there will be opportunities, but overall commercial law firms do well if the economy is doing well, so the performance of our sector as a whole  (in the UK) will more or less reflect whatever happens to the UK economy for which the short and medium term forecasts are not good. I think even the leading Brexiters seem to accept that there will be a short term negative impact on our economy while uncertainty as to the settlement persists."

"My best guess as to the result is the same as yours. If that is the result then I still think we will be in for a quietish summer as generally things need to kick off by now to get done by September and no doubt there will be some complicated positions to unwind in relation to the currency, stock market et cetera , but I do think we will then be in for a busy autumn."

"I think it will be remain by a small margin – if I am right I think the impact will be positive and people will breathe again and get back to normal (the political scene will likely shift dramatically!) and the pound will rise.

If I am wrong then I think it will be chaos politically and economically as no-one knows what it will be mean – in the short term I suspect it means we can take the summer off and business will be pretty paralysed, maybe to the end of the year."

"I'm with you that it will be a Remain vote. As to the numbers, the Scottish experience tells us that the undecideds usually vote for no change, so I'm going a little higher - 7-10%

I'm not sure about work then flooding  in. I think there are some pretty strong headwinds around at the moment not all of which are within UKs control. Real estate market is stalled and I think likely to remain so."

"I agree with your assessment. I hope we are both right..."

"My view is that this will be like Scotland and Quebec - the nearer we get to the polls the more people will take a conservative view. I therefore think we will stay in by about the 5% margin you think, or possibly a little more. If we stay in life goes on and we think there are a bunch of deals that will go through, but you won't see them until September after the summer break. If we leave, we will be inundated with queries but it will calm down while people work out what they want to do, as Brexit will take a few years to unravel.
And finally, I'll be going on holiday whatever happens because if I don't Mrs L will  divorce me and make me take custody of the kids "

"The Referendum is the most important matter to be put to the British electorate in decades. Whichever way it goes it will be close, closer than 5% I feel. My gut feeling is that there will be a vote to Remain. If there is then my best guess is that we will see a surge of deal activity  towards the end of this year, rather like we saw after the surprise General Election result. What happens on a Brexit is rather harder to predict. Volatility tends to bring new lines of work as well, but overall I would not expect a Brexit to be good for the City legal community in the short or even medium term, nor would I expect to see transactional activity bounce back for some time while we all try to work out what happens next."

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Nigel Farage filthy limerick competition - the winner
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22 June 2016
Thanks to all the readers who have thrown their two cents into the Nigel Farage offensive limerick competition.

Clearly the legal profession has very little love for the man - more entries were sent in than we can print. But the winner, solely for the superb rhyming of "Nigel", is James:

There was once a sleazebag called Nigel
Who watched porn at work with KY gel.
IT had to block it,
Tie him to a rocket
And watch the twat migrate to Rigel.


Here are a few of the better efforts over the last couple of days:


Have you seen this prick's new poster?
To National Socialism, it couldn't be closer.
But it's fear of reugees
That's the real disease
And Nigel we should boot out the border.


Penning lim'ricks on Nigel is hard,
A fine challenge even for the Bard,
For his world views - obscene -
Force me to break rhyme scheme,
So fuck Nigel Farage, the stupid piece of racist shite.

This anonymous effort:

The spivy ol fella Farage
Was leading the right wing charge
He went over to Brussels
With piss, wind and no muscles
Demanding an airstrike on the Haj

3 Ducks gets a mention for pointing out my own inadequacies:

As one of the liberal elite
Young Rhodes was full of conceit
He created a barrage
Of abuse against Farage
But ended up looking effete

And Anna cleary had time on her hands:

An odious old git named Farage
Urged race wars from the Thames on a barge
Said some Brits, "We'd Brexit
But he really wrecks it,
With his unique brand of wank'rage

Farage is a curious hit
With current polls saying Brexiteers bit
On his xenophobic MOs
Hope the 23rd shows
Him up as he is, piece of kittens

An arse by the name of Farage
Gains support through 'pub chum' reportage
Appeal bizarrely intense,
But supporters so dense,
Let's hope all they manage is ballot spoilage

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