UK Firm of the Year 2013: Biscuits, Bogs and Bonding
01 February 2013
It's not all about fee-earning and RollOnFriday's Firm of the Year survey also measures lawyers' satisfaction with their firms' biscuits, bathrooms and booze-ups. The categories that count.

Meeting Room Biscuits

Wragge & Co, which has dominated the biscuit category year after year, may be losing its grip on comestibles. The firm only managed fifth place (89%), despite respondents claiming that "the biscuits are awesome", and "we're now served afternoon tea" complete "with scones".

First place Kirkland & Ellis must be putting something very special in its biscuits to have topped the chart with 95%. Second place Shearmans scored 94% for offering "the best freshly made cookies around", with one lawyer claiming "Duchy Originals have nothing on our cookies". And well done to Clifford Chance, where for one trainee "smarties cookies rock my world" even if another moans they don't get access to the biscuits "unless there's a client meeting".



Towards the bottom of the table and DAC Beachcroft came in third to last with 51%. Respondents accused the firm of having a "strong streak of meanness" which appears to extend to its biscuit offering. And while Watson, Farley & Williams may throw an "annual birthday party (with birthday cake included)!" the firm's culinary generosity doesn't seem to extend to biscuits - it only managed a 45% satisfaction score.

Bottom of the heap Irwin Mitchell (38%) is accused by respondents of being "run by a load of penny pinching civil servants" and doesn't seem to offer any biscuits at all. For shame.

Toilets

At the fresh end of proceedings it's a golden loo brush for Burges Salmon, which won the category with 89%. The firm received buckets of praise for its "posh", "fantastic" and "sparkly new offices", where "everything works the way it should" including toilets. And Shearman's "nice smelling toilets" took it to joint second spot with Reed Smith, both scoring 87%.



Field Fisher Waterhouse takes the prize for the most malodourous loos, scoring a woeful 35%. Respondents complained of "toilets that don't flush", and which "invariably contain unflushed detritus". Nice. Meanwhile despite the bogs at Blake Lapthorn boasting "Molton Brown handwash", it seems they are otherwise "pretty horrendous" and the firm came second to last with 40%.

Following close behind FFW on 43% was Nabarro, where the loos on the fee-earner floors are "a disgrace" in stark contrast to the "stunning" client loos. One respondent pleaded for "a bog without cr*p all over it", whilst another demanded "will somebody please stop blocking the toilets! What are they eating for Pete's sake?"

And a special mention to Macfarlanes (57%), where "the phantom sh*tter is alive and well and still leaving his trail of sh*tty destruction", probably explaining why "the toilets would have Gillian McKeith gasping for air".

Social Life

When the factory horn sounds, which firm heads down the pub together? It's Ince once more! The firm, which "knows how to throw a damn good party" and apparently promotes the (possibly not doctor-approved) philosophy that "eating's cheating and the money is better spent on alcohol", takes top spot with 94%.

At boozy Bird & Bird (89%) respondents praise the "social events on almost every night", especially the softball which "turns into a British garden party" with free G&Ts. Spiffing. And the "epic social life" at Jones Day gets so wild that one lawyer gushes "our managing partner came out with us, hired a limo one night and took us out to dinner before joining us on the party bus".



But life seems distinctly unsociable at WFW, which scored a paltry 48%. Respondents claimed that partners "have no idea how unappreciated staff at all levels feel". Irwin Mitchell which "could do with more social events" came second to bottom with 43%. And FFW took the wooden spoon with 41%. Respondents complain "this is the third year in a row that we have not had a firm Christmas party", adding "drinks in a dodgy named backstreet bar are not a substitute".